My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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