he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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