I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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