is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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