I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize