Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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