around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize