so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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