I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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