i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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