I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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