ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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