I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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