Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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