There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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