I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize