your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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