Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize