I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize