And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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