Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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