Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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