so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize