I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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