He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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