if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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