I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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