grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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