If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize