You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize