my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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