Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize