got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
In America we eat man semen.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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