Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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