I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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