She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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