You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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