I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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