thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize