My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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