no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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