i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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