hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize