Kiss
Puke
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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