omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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