i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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