we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Threesome in a minivan. New low
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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