shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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