I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize