At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize